General
Mediation is a professional, confidential service which helps people to discuss issues, make plans for the future and implement them. It is suitable for all types of dispute resolution.
Essential elements of mediation
Firstly, it is a voluntary process. Every party, including the mediator may withdraw at any time.
Secondly, it is confidential and therefore the parties can have difficult conversations in a safe environment.
Thirdly, you can bring someone with you to support you through the process. Your support person must sign up to the confidentiality of the process in the same way as the parties themselves do. They may not become involved in the discussions as their role is to provide support only.
Fourthly, the mediator does not provide legal advice but will recommend you seek professional legal, financial or pension advice before you complete the mediation process.
It is different from relationship counselling – in fact it is the business end of separation and divorce in that it helps you to decide on the best way to separate your finances, assets, pensions while at the same time make sufficient provision for your children and facilitate their access to each parent.
It is a neutral and non-judgmental environment where issues can be discussed privately. The mediator is impartial and his/her role is to assist the parties to reach an agreement acceptable to all parties, which is fundamentally sound and which has been future proofed to test its resilience over time. There is an expectation that the parties will approach the process in an open and transparent manner and in good faith.
How does it work
The first session usually lasts up to two hours and each subsequent meeting is usually for an hour and a half.
Separating Couples: In cases which involve separating couples, depending on the issues to be discussed and resolved, it can take up to eight sessions from the beginning of the process to the final Settlement Agreement being agreed.
To begin with – I will have a chat over the phone with the party who first contacts me. I will wait for the second party to contact me and then have a chat with that person. These initial telephone calls are free of charge and give me a chance to provide you with a bit of information about me and the service I offer.
Your first face to face meeting with me as your Mediator will begin with all the parties together to gather some information about your current situation, your children if you have any and their details. I will then have a short private meeting with each party.
The purpose of this private meeting is to explore the background from your own perspective and your circumstances. You will have the opportunity to describe your situation and outline the things which are important for you. It will help you to formulate your thoughts and at the end of both private meetings we will have an agenda of items to negotiate and agree.
All subsequent meetings are joint meetings although occasionally I might ask you to meet with me for a few minutes just to check in and see how things are going for you.
The Mediator doesn’t solve problems but can help keep the conversation focussed on the issues and help you to find your own solutions. Most joint sessions last about an hour and a half.
