Many people don’t know what I mean when I suggest that they should go to mediation to resolve a dispute or make plans for future engagement with other people. For most people, the only time mediation might come onto their radar is in a situation where I (or someone like me) might suggest it as a way of resolving a problem which is causing stress and anxiety.
I explain mediation as being a conversation which is facilitated by a third party (who could be me), approached with an open mind and willingness to have constructive discussion, which may lead to a resolution – people begin to consider it as an option. It helps to also explain that it is a voluntary process and people can step away at any time. Sounds simple! It is and it isn’t but it is healthier in most circumstances than an adversarial court process. The parties decide what is best for their children together rather than a Judge, who doesn’t know you or your children, making an arbitrary decision which you must then live with. Mediation can help you to come to agreements that suit your children, you as parents, and your work and life schedule. It can also bring about positive approaches to the future.
Entering into mediation means that you want to resolve the issue and find a better way to work with the other party into the future. In family mediation people sometimes think that mediation is a form of counselling or effort at reconciliation. This is a misconception – it is a very effective way of having conversation where communication has often broken down completely and you want and need to make progress, particularly where children are affected by the parent’s relationship breakdown.
